My very first experience with Jesus was in 1987, as a young married woman with one young daughter. I accepted Him at a small church in downtown Provo, along with most of my immediate family. The effect was overwhelming, powerful and sudden. All was well for the first few years, but as I look back I can see many mistakes that I made.

Over time, I slowly began to lose interest in God. It was subtle and cunning — I never really noticed. I read the Bible less and less. I hardly ever prayed. By the time I gave birth to my second daughter, my walk with Christ was basically nonexistent. My husband and I were drinking on a regular basis, sometimes daily, and our marriage soon dissolved. I did OK as a single mother of two, at least by the world’s standards. I had a good job, a nice car, my own home, and I was on top of my game. There was a nice little private club that was a perfect escape from the pressures of the world within walking distance of my home. How convenient that I would never have to drive drunk! I became a responsible social drinker with a touch of class.

I went to the club just occasionally at first, but that quickly picked up speed. Soon, I was partying every time I got the chance, regularly dragging myself to work the next day with a hangover. I had a whole new array of friends and began having “the party after the party” at my house. One night someone pulled out a meth pipe. I had no clue what it was, but I had tried pot in my younger years and figured it must be something similar. Little did I know! That one night forever altered the course of my life.

I was hooked on meth almost immediately after just one try. I could not concentrate on anything except getting more. I was fired from my job within the first month and things in my life quickly spiraled out of control. Within three months, my car was repossessed for nonpayment and my home soon followed into foreclosure. Facing homelessness, my two children and I moved in with my drug dealer, but he soon informed me that either they would have to go or I would. Well, I could no more be away from my drugs then fly to the moon, so I took my children to my mother’s and left them (at that point of addiction, people will sacrifice anything). That was the ticket I needed — there was nothing to hold me back now. I sank deeper and deeper.

This continued for five years and many horrid things took place during that time. The wounds were very deep and painful, and I could see no way out of the life I had created. I didn’t even know where to start. I felt as though the damage was too devastating. I had numerous felony charges piled up against me and I was on the run from everything and everyone. I wanted out so badly, but it seemed I had no possible means of escape.

Looking back, I can see that God had His hand on me the entire time. God knew my heart, He knew my torment, He knew my fears, and He knew my enemies! But more than anything, He knew what it would take for me to surrender. I was finally arrested on September 3, 2003, and the long hard road to recovery began. For the first year, I was put through a series of treatments at the Utah County jail, followed by residential treatment, intensive out-patient treatment, and then general out-patient treatment. But as I discovered hope and learned to take steps that would help clear away the wreckage of my past, I found it very difficult to face God. My wounds were deep and the stains were dark. I had done awful things and felt I couldn’t approach Him.

As my relationship with God continued to struggle, something happened. Through several different people in several different settings, I was led to The Rock. My life has never been the same. At The Rock, I heard things I’d never heard before. They talked about a God who desired to meet me right where I was, and there was nothing I could ever do that would make Him not want me. They talked about a God who loves the sick and has the power to heal. WOW — what news for a person like me!

At The Rock, I was welcomed with a message of love and hope. God has restored my faith and trust in Him, as well as my compassion and love for others. He has ABSOLUTELY freed me from my bondage in the drug culture (that is surely divine power!) and replaced it with a nurturing fellowship of people who are dedicated to living the abundant Christian life. I’m SO grateful, and it’s this same atmosphere to which I can bring friends and acquaintances who are still junkies. Through a series of other miracles, God has also restored relationships within my family and with my daughters (my youngest daughter was baptized at The Rock by my sister). I have a wonderful Christian husband and our home is usually filled with all sorts of people looking for a way out of addiction — and we wouldn’t have it any other way. We are TRULY blessed!

Although I’ve not had any alcohol or drugs since September 3, 2003, I’m still letting God meet me right where I stand. I’m learning to let Him finish the good work that He started in me, while being quick to remind the enemy (still condemning me of my past) that I’m a NEW creation in Christ. But what I cherish most is knowing that there is NO stain too dark for Christ to remove, that NO wound is too deep to be healed by His power! Yes, wounds leave scars, but they’re no longer scars that bring me shame. They are now scars that I use whenever possible to bring hope and help to another person who might have similar scars. I want to be the seed in Matthew 13 that falls into good soil, showing someone else that there IS a way out and God DOES heal!