“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you… 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now.” — Philippians 1:3,5
As we have been studying Philippians together as a church, this one word at the beginning of the letter really captured my heart: partnership.
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Every once in a while, I get myself into a situation where I know I’ve been misunderstood. There are also times when I realize that I’ve misunderstood what somebody was trying to tell me. Without a doubt, we all experience this, don’t we?
As I’ve thought about this, I’m struck by the story in Joshua 22 (verses 10-34). It’s an example of a misunderstanding that certainly could have ended in disaster. In fact, if one group of people hadn’t explained themselves to another group, there would have been a war.
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“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” — Ephesians 4:15-16
I had lunch with a friend the other day. As we talked, he said something about “P.T. slabs.” With my engineering background, I knew he was obviously talking about post-tensioned slabs. But, I told him, most people would not understand that. We then shared a laugh.
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The Book of Proverbs (6:16-19) gives us a list of seven things God really hates. It’s undoubtedly a serious call to avoid the stuff that tears down what He values. Verse 19 talks specifically about behaviors that wreck trust and unity. The ESV says, “one who sows discord among brothers,” and the NLT describes “a person who sows discord in a family.” Additionally, the NIV widens it to “a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”
Now, think about that for a second. Causing division and conflict—just by what we say—is labeled as an abomination to God. That’s obviously huge! Why? Because breaking unity certainly goes against His command for us to love one another and live in harmony.
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I recently taught at church about how to treat fellow believers when we disagree politically. Christians who differ on such issues should always do so with a spirit of kindness, graciousness, and understanding. Indeed, this spirit honors King Jesus.
I know a little bit about conflict. Like everyone else, I’ve had my fair share of personal skirmishes with my wife, kids, family, co-workers, teammates, etc. Additionally, for the past 33 years, I have been called in to help hundreds of other people resolve their broken relationships. In fact, just this past week, I had the opportunity to help resolve a dispute between two dear friends. Fortunately, humility carried the day, and all was well.
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I meet people all the time who are looking for something better. I often cringe when a new visitor at our church will “go off” about another church they’ve visited. For instance, they complain about the pastor having green teeth (or something like that). If the opportunity presents itself (and I often try to make it present itself), I recommend they talk to that pastor about the green teeth situation. They certainly need to work it out.
Let’s face it, looking down on others (and belittling them) is an easy trap to fall into. It’s like stepping in dog doo-doo without realizing it. Maybe it’s human nature to want to make ourselves look better by making others look bad. Admittedly, I catch myself doing it all the time. This behavior usually manifests itself into gossip. We think people should be all put together, like us — ha!
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There is one thing I know. At some point, you will definitely offend or sin against someone close to you. Simply stated, between family, friends, co-workers, (or just doing life with people) conflict happens.
The good news is that the time between the offense and the resolution is within our control. Dealing with it quickly creates peace in our hearts. On the other hand, if not dealt with, conflict causes war in our hearts. Jesus gives us some clear steps on how to resolve conflict.
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