Yesterday (October 23) marked three years since my father passed away. In previous posts, I have shared some of the things the Lord has guided me through so far on this path of grief. With that in mind, today will be the latest entry into that diary.
But first, a story. As children, my brother and I would oftentimes get our dad a t-shirt for his birthday. We’d get ones with his favorite rock bands on them. I always wanted to wear them to school, but they were obviously too big for me. However, as I got older, I began to grow into the shirts that once drowned me as a child. Today, I still have most of my dad’s shirts. You’ve probably seen me wear many of them often.
These memories have me reflecting on this thought:
Grief is like an oversized T-shirt.
When you lose someone you love in death, it is much like putting on a t-shirt that is way too big. It drowns you. And it doesn’t fit right. It also seems impossible to see yourself wearing it.
Unfortunately,(and unlike) a t-shirt, grief is not something you can take off. It is not something you can simply change out of. To add to that, you have no choice but to wear it. As much as this is a hard concept to grasp, here is where I have found comfort.
Jesus wore grief.
Our Lord was by no means exempt from wearing grief. His heart broke for people. He cried over the death of His friend. Not to mention, He prayed in agony in the garden. He was then betrayed, beaten, and crucified. This is what the prophet Isaiah (Isaiah 53:3) spoke about the Messiah when he said, “(Jesus) was… a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.”
Whenever I feel like the grief I’m wearing is too much to bear, the Spirit reminds me that our Lord has worn it as well. And in His mercy and love, He invites us to draw near to Him. He is always the One who can fully sympathize with us. (Heb. 4:15)
You won’t grow out of grief but you will grow into it.
As time continues to move forward, the size of grief that I live with (in the absence of my dad) is certainly as big as it has ever been. But, much like a child in an oversized T-shirt, I surely know it is something I’ve been growing into.
I cannot say for sure that in ten hours, ten months, or even ten years, the pain of grief will get any smaller. But I can undeniably say for certain that God has “clothed us in Christ” (Galatians 3:27 NIV), and His Spirit helps us grow into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ — every day. (Phil 1:6, 2 Cor. 3:18)
Still growing,
Posted in A Word from the Pastor